Scars

There is something so utterly tragic about broken relationships. Something so inherently wrong - like the world suddenly spinning in the opposite direction. And there's a pain that comes that is both unique and intense.

This sudden attempt at removal of an entire person from your sphere of influence, especially one you have thought highly of and depended on, is excruciating. And it's not the way relationships are supposed to be.

We were meant for each other, meant for community - to trust, and invest; to love and serve; to grow and learn.

But what happens when someone stops working with you (or never did in the first place like you thought)? What happens when someone claims that they "cannot be the friend you need?"

One-sided friendships don't work. Believe me. I've tried for two years. And burned out. And now that I can't continue alone anymore, this friendship has come to an abrupt end. I have no energy to try, and the other person isn't willing to. Something that I've poured love and energy and time into over and over again is gone. Forever. And a hole is left.

Eventually it will turn to a scar, like all wounds do with time. Sometimes I feel that, when I finally leave this life, my whole heart will just be a mass of scarred tissue. My huge capacity to love is always, always spent loving the wrong things. And I walk through the fire again.

We can see God's work farther on down the road...I rest in the knowledge that there is a beautiful reason, and that He will take a tragedy and renew me through it.